thought for thursday: everybody wins

i am going to re-post an abbreviated version of my tft. i think this new typepad ate my looooooong post. maybe that's a good thing. 

it's PC nowdays to let all kids win. let them all have a medal. make sure everything is "equal" and "fair".

is this a good thing?  how about in 20 years down the road, getting their jobs, then at their job, when life is sometimes all about competition. will they show up expecting to win?  that they will be equal to everyone around them?

i run into this a lot, especially during hockey season. at some of the games, no scores were kept. it was fun, the kids enjoyed themselves.  what happened at the games when they changed it up and played to win?  ALL of the kids tried harder. were proud. even the kids that weren't the "best" tried their hardest when there was competition.

derek jeter tells men's health magazine:
“You know the showcase at the end of
The Price Is Right?
When I was 5,
he used to beat me at the showcase every day
before afternoon kindergarten.
I’m 5 years old!
I don’t know the prices!

But he taught me a lesson:
No one’s going to let you beat them.”

No one’s going to let you beat them.
Not at baseball, not at business, not in anything.
Play to win.

tell me your thoughts. and experiences.  moms, dads, aunts, uncles.  you teachers out there.

other thought provokers on thursday:  cass, jenny, denise, helmet, jessica , and kristi.

Comments

[Denise H.]

I don't have kids but I have seen enough with my nieces and nephews. When there is a sport where they let everyone win, I have asked them if they were excited that they won and their response were "Well, we really didn't win, they just gave us a trophy". Kids know which team won so what is the point of giving all of the teams a trophy. What happened to having champions?? Why not just give the second and third place teams a trophy and then the others a ribbon. Or, choose a MVP from each team who will also get a trophy. To show the kids that even of you don't win, your part made a difference.

Good Topic.

[amy]

I think a certain level of competition is good.

[trav]

oh man. i could write an entire blog response to this post...or a book. short answer: yes, competition is good. i have a few theories on what's going wrong with this country and this definitely fits into one of those. this also ties in with the "no child left behind" concept. all i want to say is, 'you know what? you're not good enough. go practice like the other guy already has been doing, which is why you lost in the first place.' and if they don't want to? well, good luck in the real world buddy cuz you'll be the one crying about your poor performance reports just because you didn't get a perfect score even though you "show up to work every day like everybody else."

[Cass]

This is something my FH and I have discussed in great detail. He's VERY competitive - he works in the basketball business and played professionally for a bit so he really sees the benefit of winners and losers and really appreciates people learning how to be on both sides of that coin.

My personal feeling is that scores should be kept and that kids should learn that you don't always win....but I also think that all loses should be treated as constructive opportunities for improvement.

Fantastic Topic.

[Mary]

Competition is good.
I grew up playing sports. I believe I got the discipline I have now from the sports I was involved with then. I was taught that hard practice will make you better and the better team will win. It taught about consequences. I'm getting off topic here, sorry. Bottom line from me........there are winners and there are losers. I can't stand the "everyone's a winner" stuff.

[Hyphen Mama]

I HATE the "nobody loses" theory. It doesn't teach anything constructive IMO. I agree with you. What will happen when only 1 person gets that college scholarship? 1 person gets that job? 1 person gets that promotion?

Kids have to learn coping skills at some point. Kids who don't learn to deal with wins and losses don't have those experiences to build off of for their lives.

When Wynnie first started playing games, like Candyland, we let her win a few times. Then she no longer won every game and I made a point to let her know she did NOT win. She cried, kicked and screamed. It took a few days of this behavior to learn that she won some times and lost other times. I'm glad we did it that way. Her grandparents always let her win. That doesn't teach her any life skills.

Great post!

[Robyn]

I don't believe there are no losers in life. I understand instilling good sportsmanship, but it is far better to learn to take your licks while you are young, than to be devastated but a little thing later in life.

[jenny]

i think we need competition! how else would anything better happen? what if nobody tried to do anything better than someone else? we'd still be starting fires with rocks and writing on a stone - okay, maybe not that bad - but you know what i mean!!!

i grew up when scores were kept and there were winners and losers. that's how it should be. push your kids (or anyone for that matter) further. it's good for them!

great topic jess!