tft: one year old birthday parties

well, hello.  happy thursday. i had a hundred good ideas for a TFT. they will have to wait for another time. or maybe, maybe, i'll do two. how about that??

so, i finally got J-man's birthday party set up (he turns 9 in march).  he wants to go bowling, so bowling it is.  as he would say, "easy cheesy lemon squeezy".  yes. easy.  relatively stress-free.

on the other hand.  monkey girl turns 1 on april 24th.  i don't know what to do for it. it seems people are expecting me to have a big shindig. they're asking what i'm planning. ummmmmm.... cake?

i've  always been a little  annoyed by people who go all crazy  for a one-year-old's birthday party. as a guest, they stress me out.  they HAVE to stress these parents out.   read this. seriously. read it.   the upside, i guess --- if you have it catered and someone else does all the work and you have a bizillion dollars to spend, then  have at it.

i think, a party, fine. a little gathering to have cake and blow a noisemaker. but lord, i've got a friend who invited like 100* people to her kid's one year.  she ran around constantly making sure people were having fun a good time, had a drink in their hands, that their plate was full..  and i am doubting that she remembers much of the day.  i sure as heck don't believe she enjoyed it. and i know it took at least a week for her and her house to recover from it.

now, back to monkey girl.  is she GOING TO REMEMBER IT?  because i sure as heck don't remember my first birthday party. or if i had one. now, i'm not saying we shouldn't or won't have a party. i am just wondering what to do. one year olds don't have a long attention span. it's usually the parents that end up opening the gifts (or if you have some other small children there, they will gladly help and then you will lose track of the cards and screw up your thank-yous). what one year old even needs more crap? in fact, most one year old parties i've been to - the guest of honor has had to be whisked away for the daily nap. they're terrible hosts.

so, i have decisions to make, and planning to get done. because on some scale, we will have a party. hopefully, it will not have to come  down to a similar process as our wedding. do we cut it off at great-aunts?  do daddy's coworkers need an invite?  ha, ha. ha.  i'm kidding here people.

did you have a monster party for your one year old?  or attend one that was way over the top? please share.

*100 is just a guess. it could have been 94.

_______________________________

others with thoughts for thursday:

jenny on emergency plans

michelle on diets

kristi on giving birth

 

Comments

[Karen]

I've heard a good rule of thumb is invite one kid more than your child is old in years. (One year olds would invite two friends.) Makes a whole lot of sense and allows a party without the ensuing chaos.

[Robyn]

If about 20-30 people is a monster party then yes I had one. I get in the predicament of having parents with each having 8 siblings. If you invite one you have to invite the others. I was going to write no gifts, but I read on a manners site that it is considered rude. I just made 3 pans of lasagna, salads, garlic bread and cake. It was pretty easy. No theme, basically just a get together. Maggie seemed to have a really good time. No crying at least. I wouldn't go crazy over it, I probably won't do a year 2 one.

[Kelly]

We usually have just family. (yes you are family). With L we had family and neighbors since his party was in Aug. and he played with them daily. Of course when you are asked by 1000 people when the party is you end up with more. We did cake and some food but that was all. I agree with doing something bigger when the kids understand more what they want.
Hope you find a nice middle ground and I will be looking for my invitation in the mail JUST KIDDING!

[michelle]

We have only done family as of yet, and by family I mean only our immediate families. I do invite our closest friends too, but usually the number lingers around 15-25 depending on who can make it. We don't do a big ordeal just presents, cake and dinner. We try to do it after naptime so the kid will be happy. I don't think I'll ever let the parties get too big or out of hand. Whatever happened to a good ole' fashion bday party? I have nothing to prove and I really just want to celebrate one the most amazing days I've experienced, you know? Also, I think too much is overwhelming for young kids. Just go simple and everyone will be happy.

[Jaime]

Ok, I'm stupid. I always start out small with the bday parties. And then, they end up big. The 1 year party was in WA and we didn't have a ton of people to invite. But I think 20 showed and I had ALL the food, decor, etc. Yeah, they don't open gifts.
Go small, don't spend the money. That's what I'll do with Dane. I think:) hehe...

Now, the 2nd bday party.... Was a shindig. We had it my inlaws, which is the PERFECT entertaining house. IDK... there was probably 40 people there, maybe more, throughout the evening. I spent a ton of money.. ugh. But, we kind of called it a going away party too. Well, we didn't call it that we justified it in our checkbook that way:) But, she loved the gift opening and all the people, all the fun, etc.
I think we should just keep it simple.....

[anne]

This is a great topic, and timely for me as well because I have a boy turning one in April. I have never been one to love entertaining or throwing a big bash, so we will most definitely NOT be doing any major sort of party. I was thinking grandparents, my & hubby's siblings, and our little nephew will be the only invitees. And probably a simple lunch scheduled in between his two naps, and that's it! It seems like a lot of things related to little kids these days turn into a competition, mainly between the mommies. Everyone tries to outdo everyone else, with themed parties and bigger and better extravaganzas than the next kid. Which results in stressed out parents, and a screaming, overly stimulated birthday kid who won't remember the party anyway.

[Miranda]

For Aubriees first birthday we were in UT so we didn't have any family around so we invited our close friends 10 people had cake and punch i did decorate alittle but nothing out of hand. We opened presents and Aubriee loved it!!! She like the wrapping paper more then the presents!! We had some little kids around to help too which was nice! My favorite part was a smash cake a little cake for the birthday girl and she just digs into! It was very fun!! Good luck! I am going all out on her two year birthday since we have family around and she might remember it!! :)

[heather]

I do chuckle at the over the top 1st birthday parties. I always wonder why?

For my first baby, we were the first in our family and our most of our group of friends to have a baby, so there really weren't a lot of other kids around, like it would be a kid kind of party. We had some close friends who had a little girl the exact same age, so of course they came and the girls "played" together as much as any one year olds do, but mostly our families and close friends who were very involved and excited about watching her grow up. We did it as an open house where we opened our home from like 2-5 and people could come and go as they liked. All said and done, we probably had like 30 people come by, including our grandparents and immediate family. We had a bunch of munchies and cupcakes and basically it was just a big get together to celebrate our first year as parents and her first year of life instead of like a focus on birthday birthday birthday. I took pictures of each of the guests with her and asked that they fill out a card to put in a keepsake book for her with a wish or a prayer or a favorite memory with her for her to keep as she grows up. Since she wouldn't remember that day, I thought it would be a fun way for her to look back on it and see who was a part of her life and who treasured her at that young age.

With my second one, we had moved away from family, so we just had a little bday party with two close families that had little boys around the same age. Not a ton of party focus, just an excuse to get together. Sawyer loved dogs then, so I made up a little doggie theme, made cardboard box play doghouses for the boys to crawl in, some doggie decorations and that was about it. I think simple is always so much more special. And fun for the little ones.

[Leah]

Except for Colton's 2nd birthday, it's always been just family. Between Mike and I, we have a good sized family which equates to about 12 people. I told Colton now that he's in school, he can have 'kid' parties. He'll get to invite 6 kids since he's 6.
The over the top 1st birthday parties are more for the parents than anybody - I think.

[jenny]

for tucker's first birthday, we had it at our house, invited our immediate families over & our grandparents as well as a few of our close friends. we invited them because well, they WANTED to come! it was fun to get together and we like to entertain so there you go. we don't have a lot of friends with kids, so it was mostly just adults.

in a month, he turns two. we'll probably be doing about the exact same thing. there probably will be a few less people though i'm sure.

fun topic!

[Sarah S.]

For my son's 1st b-day, we had two separate parties since our families live so far apart. We planned a gathering at my brother's house for my side of the family and just mainly ate some cake and grilled for lunch, went swimming...which he fell asleep at the pool. We were planning a big family vacation with my husband's immediate family just after my son's birthday so we just had a mini party then. Just opened presents and ate cake. He wasn't sure what to think either time but had fun eating cake and smearing it on everything within reach. His 2 yr will probably be at our house with immediate family and some friends invited and we'll just have to see who shows up.

[cheryl]

at my grandson's first party there were about 25 or so people, we have a devided family so that includes double grandparents, parents, siblings etc. but it was a time for me to spend with my family and my grandson. i looked at it that way. i live 60 miles away so don't get to see my family as much as i would like to. birthday parties are a chance. as far as going all out, seriously isn't nessessary. just have a cake. at my grandsons we did a little potluck thing that worked also. it's all about what you want to do. don't feel bad if you just have a small get together. some people go wayyyy overboard!!! good luck!

[amy]

We always had friends and family over, slapped some burgers on the grill and had some Bud Light. Very low-key and easy! For my third's party, she had so many toys already, we just asked everyone to bring a teddy bear since she loved bears so much. That worked out great, she still has them all on a shelf in her room.

[Mary]

New to your blog here. Hope you don't mind............
For my little guy's 1st birthday we just had it at home with take-out and cake. Both sets of grandparents, my sister's and their families. I decorated with a themed paper table cloth, napkins and plates. It was low-key and it was perfect :)

[Nicole Barczak]

For Porter's first birthday it ended up being a big bash to my standards, but seeing everyone's numbers here I guess it wasn't too horrible.

We had about 40 guests, and most were family and a few of our close friends and their kids. We rented a clubhouse at my friends apartment (ok, it was free...) and had Little Ceaser's $5 hot n ready pizzas, breadsticks and pop and cupcakes. I got into the decorating (monkey theme) but that was all just for me... I like to do that stuff.

For P's second b-day we did the same thign (clubhouse) and tried to scale back the guest list to immediate family only (grandparents and P's aunts/uncles and cousins) as well as the 3 little friends that he plays with on a semi-regular basis. However, a few other people (8 or so) got "invited" by family members, so the list grew. Ugh.

All in all, it wasn't a huge hassle, it just seemed like a ton of people. However, even if we were to keep it to JUST P's grandparents, aunts/uncles/cousins... there'd still be 20ish people there. So, I guess its a no-win situation. Either way we might as well reserve the clubhouse and have a bash!

Now, I'm not sure if I'll do the same thing next year... we may cut off having a party as just the FOOD gets expensive (not horribly... but around $70-$100??). I haven't decided waht to do for third +++ birthdays.

Now, birthdays like in that article..> CRAZY!! I can't imagine spending $3000 on a BIRTHDAY PARTY! No freaking way.

[amy]

we have done all their parties very low key. that is at our house, with immediate family. i just liek to keep it simple, but that's just me. i have been to many grand 1st b-day parties. they are fun too. i guess it just depends on what you lieke and can do.

[Mel]

I don't remember my 1st birthday party...if that helps;) It was only 21 years ago though;)

[zoe]

i admit to being a freak about my kids parties. i hand make the invites, there is always a theme ect. but i do keep the guest list to a minimum. immediate family and close friends only.

[Hyphen Mama]

I realize I'm a bit late on this one, but I decide EVERYTHING based on whether they will remember it or not. So, birthday parties (until a later date when big parties might be appropriate) are close family and our adult friends. Maybe a dozen people or so. And CAKE, tons of CAKE. It's mostly a photo op, so I can take pictures to prove later that yes, we did love you and had a party... but they'll never know it was a small party.