jessica

are you smarter than an 8 year old?

i have mentioned before i have a kinda smart kid.  no idea where it comes from, though.  i hail from the land of The Teacher Who Falls Asleep Mid-Sentence and the Guidance Counselor Who Proclaims Every Student "Not a Rocket Scientist", and let's not forget The Calc Teacher Whose Nine Year Old Can Do Calculus, So Why Can't You??  ok, enough about my bitterness. wow, where did that come from? okay. back to business.

let me share a couple of the math problems he's got as homework. (this is not a challenge, unless you'd like to work through the problems, then have at it.  it is merely a demonstration of how hard parenthood truly is.)

problem 1:  Every yellow marble is expensive.  One-half the orange marbles are expensive. One-half of all expensive marbles are yellow. There are 40 yellow marbles and 25 expensive marbles that are neither yellow nor orange.  How many orange marbles are there?

this one is short. you'd think it would be easier maybe.
problem 2:  If 5 x's and 4 y's and 12 y's = 5 z's, then 30 x's = how many z's?

say, whaaa?  um, when i was 8 we were still learning our times tables.

i've tried to help, and i always come up with the wrong answer. and the kid ends up teaching ME.

now if i could just get him to clean his room. or wash his face.

sixteen (and counting)

i just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who commented on my TFT post. right now, i have sixteen comments. that's a new high for me!  i can't tell you how excited i get when i get an email that someone has taken the time to leave a comment. it rocks!  i really, really, REALLY (can't stress this enough) appreciate everything you have to say.  it's a treat to read them and know your opinions. so, thank, THANK you all again, and please, PLEASE keep commenting!

happy friday!

this also excites me. two new top teeth at the same time:

goodbye, february, i'm moving on.

i blinked and this month was over.  well, not really, because at times it seemed like this winter slump would never be done.  and well, it's still not. but now we can close another chapter of winter on this extra day for the year. hope you have a fantastic leap year friday.

in other news, (the "moving on" part of the title...)  i'm excitedly looking forward to march. HUGE, HUGE breakthrough in my life. i feel like i need somebody to pinch me! since i last whined about updated on the crappy job front, these are the events that have transpired:

• i had a great idea. a "duh!" moment. i don't know why i hadn't thought of this before.  i contacted an art licensing agency (via email) that periodically sends us (my current company) new artwork to look at for our products.  i know the woman who owns it, i've met her at  shows in NYC, atlanta, etc. i asked her if she was interested in representing another artist, as my stuff is very different from her current selection.
• she replied that yes, she would love to see what i have to offer. i sent her a sampling
• she replied again, that she absolutely loved all of my work and would definitely be interested. and was any of the work i showed her available for licensing?
• i was so excited... but had to tell her, no, that was work i'd done for my crappy boss and she "owns" it. BUT i would be more than happy to start working on a portfolio of new work for her if we came to an agreement
• she was also excited and replied that yes, that would be great, as her HUGE NYC show is mid-may and she'd be able to add my work to her portfolio  to exhibit at the show.
• we then had a two-hour phone conversation.  it felt SO RIGHT.  i asked 1000 questions and she answered them all.
• we talked about how the contract would be written up and other details......

so the positives of this situation are obvious. since i like bullet points, and they're easier to read, here they are...

• i will receive licensing money and royalties (ROYALTIES!) on any artwork she licenses of mine.
• my work will be shown to hundreds of manufacturers worldwide
• i get to be CREATIVE, anything i wish, at my leisure, with no dragon breathing down my neck and changing my artwork constantly
• i get to QUIT my DEPRESSING JOB mid-april (i set this date yesterday, it is subject to change, but no later!)
• no more boss. NO MORE BOSS!  that's music to my ears.
• i get the fresh start i so desperately need
• i will have a little more time to do photography
• i will be available for my kids more and not CHAINED TO MY DESK
• i will be able to network and join mommies' groups, for baby, for sanity, for NETWORKING.
• i will also possibly have time to work on my digital scrapbooking "biz" that's been in my head for a while
• i'm taking a week or so off in march (before i announce my departure) so i don't lose my vacation. smart, eh?

the negatives - well there are unfortunately negatives. more bullets:

• it will take a while to get me established. possibly a year to 18 months. could always be shorter.
• in that time, it will be tiiiiiiiight around here.  going from a decent salary to, well, nada for some time.
• not sure where the $ will come from for erecting my studio space.
• will have to pick up my own health insurance
• hubs will have to pick up a lot of slack.  hopefully not too much, but it is undoubtedly how it will be for a period of time.
• i have to actually QUIT my job. this is also in the positives section, but i'm just trying not to burn any bridges, and  the Crazy One (boss) tends to get really emotional, defensive, and bent out of shape. maybe i'll have the hubs quit for me. lol.

and one other SMALL negative... and i'm asking you (my blog reader) to help me out here.   ok - my boss goes to these art shows, looks through the portfolios of various licensing agencies, and even buys art from them.  so, i know that she will go there, see my name, my art, and flip out in an unbelievable way.  so what, you ask? why do i care?  i don't know!  why DO i care???  what repercussions could there possibly be?  a mad crazy woman?   the licensing agent said that i could come up with an "alias" name for myself. but then when i'm established, i'll have to go by that name. all just because my crappy (EX)boss would get upset?  so flippin what?  tell me i'm being ridiculous!  to forget the alias. i need a kick in the pants here. 

i am so, so, SO pumped it's unbelievable. it'll be a long road, but a NEW one and that's exactly what i need. i know it's going to be a bumpy road, but i'm willing for it.  change. is. necessary. and i realize it may not transpire EXACTLY the way i picture in my mind, but that's ok too. 
everything happens the way it's supposed to. 

tft: one year old birthday parties

well, hello.  happy thursday. i had a hundred good ideas for a TFT. they will have to wait for another time. or maybe, maybe, i'll do two. how about that??

so, i finally got J-man's birthday party set up (he turns 9 in march).  he wants to go bowling, so bowling it is.  as he would say, "easy cheesy lemon squeezy".  yes. easy.  relatively stress-free.

on the other hand.  monkey girl turns 1 on april 24th.  i don't know what to do for it. it seems people are expecting me to have a big shindig. they're asking what i'm planning. ummmmmm.... cake?

i've  always been a little  annoyed by people who go all crazy  for a one-year-old's birthday party. as a guest, they stress me out.  they HAVE to stress these parents out.   read this. seriously. read it.   the upside, i guess --- if you have it catered and someone else does all the work and you have a bizillion dollars to spend, then  have at it.

i think, a party, fine. a little gathering to have cake and blow a noisemaker. but lord, i've got a friend who invited like 100* people to her kid's one year.  she ran around constantly making sure people were having fun a good time, had a drink in their hands, that their plate was full..  and i am doubting that she remembers much of the day.  i sure as heck don't believe she enjoyed it. and i know it took at least a week for her and her house to recover from it.

now, back to monkey girl.  is she GOING TO REMEMBER IT?  because i sure as heck don't remember my first birthday party. or if i had one. now, i'm not saying we shouldn't or won't have a party. i am just wondering what to do. one year olds don't have a long attention span. it's usually the parents that end up opening the gifts (or if you have some other small children there, they will gladly help and then you will lose track of the cards and screw up your thank-yous). what one year old even needs more crap? in fact, most one year old parties i've been to - the guest of honor has had to be whisked away for the daily nap. they're terrible hosts.

so, i have decisions to make, and planning to get done. because on some scale, we will have a party. hopefully, it will not have to come  down to a similar process as our wedding. do we cut it off at great-aunts?  do daddy's coworkers need an invite?  ha, ha. ha.  i'm kidding here people.

did you have a monster party for your one year old?  or attend one that was way over the top? please share.

*100 is just a guess. it could have been 94.

_______________________________

others with thoughts for thursday:

jenny on emergency plans

michelle on diets

kristi on giving birth

 

is that built out of gold?

hubs and i met with a builder yesterday to discuss an addition to this joint. 

who thinks $175 per square foot is a little high?

thought so.

tie her down?

does anybody have any suggestions?  i've got a ten-month-old who can climb out of her crib.  no, she can't walk yet. but this monkey girl can claw and grope her way out of her crib.  the crib is the style where the side does not slide down. a portion of the side is hinged and flips down. (this because i'm not tall enough to place sleeping babies into a crib without dropping them the last few inches - and then they wake up!).  but now, that may be working to our disadvantage.  the crib is currently sort of wedged between a large armoire and the guest bed (because i've taken the "guest" out of the room that was supposed to house it and instead use it for a small photo studio).   so, she can't get out on the armoire side. but the bed side, that's the side she can scale, then hop over to the bed. i know, i've seen it.  if not for the bed, she may have a broken neck by now.

**sigh**

i didn't think kids could do that so soon.
although, i've seen her scale the baby gate and hang there, with her toes in the mesh like a monkey.

yes, the mattress is lowered to the lowest possible point.  i DID think of that. and no, there are no toys or pillows or anything inside the crib for 'leverage".

the hubs has offered suggestions including tie her in there, put a fishing net over the top, and the use of superglue. i was thinking something... else.

we can't put her in a toddler bed, she can't even walk yet!  help, one and all!

has anyone ever tried one of these?

i hate rube goldberg

alternate title: the project that kicked my butt.

no, it wasn't a house project. it wasn't a craft project. nor a photography project. i WISH.  it was a fourth grade  exCel project.  the J-man is in a pull out program for accelerated  kids and they decided it would be fun to make the parents work really hard.  back me up, parents of school-aged children! homework and projects are homework and projects for PARENTS. not because we want to, nooooooooo.  because they wouldn't get DONE without us.

so, the kids are studying rube goldberg. who's that, you ask? well, i had to google him myself. rube goldberg  is best known for his series of popular cartoons depicting rube goldberg machines, complex devices that perform simple tasks in indirect, convoluted ways. so, we begin. the instructions on the sheet tell us that the contraption must transport a marble or series of marbles from point A to point B, achieving the following things:

• the majority of the "marble run" must be constructed by the students. HAH!
• only a limited amount of prefab or ready made game parts may be used (yes, i DID think i would just rob pieces fromt the 'mouse trap game' until i read this rule. even after, i considered it.
• points will be given for each type of material, the time it takes for the marble to run, sounds the marble makes en route, replacements (when one marble 'quits' and another takes over), simple machines, and completion (25 points if the marble(s) make it to the end in three tries

let me add. this project was given about three weeks ago. but alas, the Overscheduled Child has no time to do anything. (especially not schoolwork!!) ha ha.  so, mercifully, the school board gave us today  off as a teacher workday, the day BEFORE the project was due, to finish 'er up.  plusses: he finishes his project.  minuses: well, he's home with me and i will have to make lunch.

we started this project at 7 this morning.  i am just posting about it now. working nonstop, no bathroom, lunch, water breaks.

the end result is depicted in photos below. but let me tell you, first, some things experienced on this journey:

• the oven and refrigerator eat marbles. they get lost in the vast, dark, dusty and crumbly abyss.
• hi temp glue guns (which i rely on for pretty much every project i do) burn like *@#&$^!@.
• knives are sharp and pierce skin, sometimes the same skin that's just been burned to blistering
• my left  index finger will bleed for a long time
• eight year olds  cry when mommies yell at them out of frustration
• babies can destroy a project in 0.2 seconds while driving over it in a walker
• schools must hate parents. why else would they give projects like this to kids?
• i hate the exCel teacher
• i hate rube goldberg

and, now, the project in all its glory. note, the jingle bells we glued to the "incline plane" (a simple machine) - bonus points!!  i can just hear all the ooohs and ahhs over our creative uses of the cardboard from paper towels, water bottles, frisbees, oversized popsicle sticks, and corkboards.  we're quite amazing.

 

5/6 of a year...

that would be ten months.  february 24th.  where did february go? little one, you are  growing by leaps and bounds, in all ways.  here are some new and newish milestones:

• you continue to have rhythm. you drum and pound on everything. using hands, feet, whatever. you love music with a solid beat
• you now say J-man's name. it sounds a lot like "dame". we know that's what you're saying because you're consistent with it... and will only say it if he's around or if we prompt you to repeat it.
• you mimic EVERYTHING. if someone laughs, you laugh. if someone yells, you yell. if someone blows at you, you blow right back, but you add a bonus wet stream. if someone is singing, you sing. if someone growls, you growl. it's dang cute.
• you wake up in your crib a happy girl and sing to your bear and doll. it's a lot like mommy's singing. really off-key
• you will stand alone fairly well. you're still not sure you want to do much more than that, for when you want to get somewhere, it's the old standby crawl
• you know exactly when you're in trouble. when you are chewing on something you shouldn't, (and you know it), when we come after you to take it away you squeal and crawl away as fast as you can. and dang, you're fast.
• you still poop more than any of us think is humanly possible. and passing gas is another story. daddy gets blamed a lot for the noise you make. it's that bad.
• you are still sleeping from approximately 8 pm to 730-8 a.m. - what more could a parent ask for? i sure hope i'm not jinxing it by documenting this.
• you love the roomba. daddy calls the roomba not only a good cleaning tool, but an excellent babysitter.
• you previously hated the vacuum, but now you are curious, don't cry anymore and want to touch it.
• you still only have two teeth. on the bottom. i guess that 3rd tooth that popped in decided it wasn't quite time.
• you're in love with baby einstein and squeal and clap at a few parts, especially the monkey.
• you love to be swung. upside down, side to side, around in a circle. you've always been an extreme movement baby, and the crazier the better.
• you weigh 18 lbs by our calculations. we haven't been great at on-time checkups.
• some of your favorite toys are the remote, the phone, and an old digital camera. high tech girl.
• you love, love, love to eat and to date the only thing you've really refused are the baby food peaches and anything mixed with the peaches. i don't blame you, they're sour and smell like feet.
• you're surprisingly good at eating real food with only two teeth.
• you're a cheerio fiend
• you like the sippy cup but would rather chew on it than drink from it. you still much prefer your bottle.
• you've NEVER been a pacifier chick, and for a brief time you sucked your thumb but now you use niether. that will be easy on mom and dad, no weaning.
• you like to drag a blanket, a piece of dirty laundry, whatever, behind you.
• you wrestle like a maniac to get out of the diaper changing position. and you keep us on our toes by coming up with new moves.
• you give "five"
• you nod and say 'yes'
• you make the cutest faces. you have soooo many fun ones.

share your workspace

a while back nicole posted photos of cleaning her home workspace. and jaime posted on trying to decide what to do for a workspace. it inspired me to take a photo of mine. so you can share in where i am 98% of the time. the two computers to the left (and on the floor) are my "work" computers. the beautiful gal on the right with the huge screen is my lovely new imac. i am in love. her name is merry mac. (sb'ers, yes it's a mary mac reference!) and laugh at my postits if you want, but this is how remember things. or nothing would get done. and under the desk is an ottoman  that i used as a footstool when i was pregnant. and then when my foot was broken shortly thereafter.  still comes in handy.  so. this is about as 'clean' as it gets. i spared you the eyesore further to the right, where the hubs has his space set up.  it's pile city.

so, show yours!  i'd love to see. and so would all of your blogland buddies! 

leave a comment and i'll link to your workspace post.

baby einstein

.... is like crack for babies. turn it on and dancing, singing, swaying, and screeching ensues!